Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Big congrats go out to Gabi 317-- she's won a signed copy of Ellen Meister's THE SMART ONE!

Not a winner this time around? That's okay! Tomorrow, we'll be giving away TWO copies of Lauren Lipton's MATING RITUALS OF THE NORTH AMERICAN WASP. So, don't forget to check back here for a chance to win more books!

GCC Author interview: Judi Fennell

Today we've got a member of the GCC here to chat. It's Judi Fennell, whose debut novel, IN OVER HER HEAD, comes out this week! Publisher's Weekly called this story of a woman and a sexy merman "[a] playful debut... sincere wit." AND it's got a nautical theme, so it's perfect for summer!


Let's, uh, dive in, shall we? (Pun intended.)

Tell us about your most recent novel in 25 words or less.

In Over Her Head is the adventure of a woman who's afraid of the ocean and a Merman.

When did you first begin writing?

I was always telling stories - even before I could write, my imaginary friend Casper the Friendly Ghost made me go in the street on my bicycle when I was 2 1/2. I worked that story to keep myself from getting in trouble. I have my writing from kindergarten and all through school, including Mr. Magickal, the protagonist, defeats the zebra-striped alligator.

Where do you find inspiration for your work?

I love all things fairy tale, especially Disney. I was working on a twist to fairy tales and wanted to do one on The Little Mermaid. To make it my own, I made the guy the mer. Voila, Reel was born.

What are you working on right now?

I'm editing the next two books in the series, Wild Blue Under which comes out in November, and Catch of a Lifetime for February 2010, as well as working on a proposal for the next books in the series.

What are you reading right now?

Linda Wisdom's series about 13 witches. They're a hoot.

How do you fight writer’s block?

I can't afford to have writer's block, but if I do, I find picking up another book helps unlock the creativity. There's something freeing about seeing that another person has pushed through it and made it work.

If your book were to become a movie, who would you cast?

I'd love Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson or Sandra Bullock, but if not them, Zac Efron and Anne Hathaway could do a great job.

What is your favorite part of writing?

I love when the story flows out of my fingers and it just takes off without me having to work for it. Least favorite? When it's not working and you have to push through it to get it to work.

What tips would you offer to aspiring writers?

Keep writing and put your work out there for people to critique. Enter contests. Join a critique group. Get feedback and be open to criticism and look at your work from their point of view. Work on craft. Divorce yourself from the emotion attached to it once it's written and be willing to look at the feedback with an eye to make it better. And don't stop writing. Don't give up. The one way to ensure you won't get published is to give up.

How do you usually begin your stories—with a character or with a plot?

Usually I get a line, whether it's dialogue or the opening line, or a situation. Every story begins differently for me, and I write each one differently. One can be written linear, another with a bunch of scenes that I tie together, yet another with the beginning and the end then filling in the middle. Different characters = different story = different manner in writing it.

Do a quick character study on yourself:

A quick character study? Ha. Okay, here ya go: I'm half Irish and half Italian. I'll be your best friend, but don't tick me off. Favorite color is purple, favorite gem is a tie between amethyst and diamonds, love animals, hate spiders. Terrified of what's in the ocean (seeing JAWS at a young age was a mistake).

Thanks so much for stopping by, Judi! We just know your books will make a huge splash! (Sorry, I just can't stop with the puns.....)

Happy Father's Day!

Yes, I know I'm early in the Father's Day wishes, but today I've got a first person essay in the New York Post about my dad!

It's called Mr. Wedding Planner, and it's all about how my dad helped me to plan the happiest day of my life. Okay, so, it's actually about how he just really planned the whole darn thing himself. You know what, just hop over there and read it!

And big, BIG thanks to the fabulous photogs at Visions Fine Photography for not only taking such beautiful pictures of my big day, but also for granting the New York Post permission to use your gorgeous images along with the piece!

Meet me in New Jersey!

Okay, so yes, I admit, it doesn't have quite the same ring as asking you to meet me in St. Louis, but I'm thrilled nonetheless to announce that I'll be appearing at the Books NJ 2009 book festival. It's a fabulous new event being hosted in New Jersey that celebrates writers and writing.

The deets are as follows:

Books NJ 2009

Sunday, June 14th
1pm - 5pm

Paramus Public Library
116 East Century Road
Paramus, NJ 07652

I'll be speaking on a fiction panel at 3:30pm, so I hope you'll be able to come by and say hi!

Still completely lost....

So, at the start of the season, I professed my confusion over the thousand and one mysteries posed on LOST which were never answered. A few of you wrote to tell me that those questions had, in fact, been answered, but I remained dubious. And, um, still totally confused.

Now, the fine folks over at Entertainment Weekly have posted this article, which posits the remaining mysteries that NEED to be answered on the final season of LOST. There are a bunch of mysteries that I mentioned back in February (Walt! What's going on with Walt? Why was he taken? What was the deal with his powers?! The list goes on....), and a few I'd forgotten (polar bears, anyone?).

I guess what's annoying me about the show is that they seem to be abandoning the old mysteries in favor of new ones. In an interview with E!, the show's creators seemed to indicate that some mysteries would never be solved and others were solved in online games (the numbers, specifically). Wha?! Some mysteries will never be solved?!? You mean I just devoted YEARS out of my life, waiting for some payoff that may never come?!? AAARRRRGGGG!

And more annoying still is the idea that the numbers were explained somewhere on the internet. Now, I'd read about what the numbers mean on various chatrooms, too, but shouldn't the show address it IN THE ACTUAL SHOW?! Not only am I expected to watch every week, but now the show is also giving me homework???

So, for those of you who were just as frustrated as I was after watching this year's Sopranos-esque season finale, I give you, once again, Josh Holloway without his shirt on:


You can thank me later.

Are you ready to kick off your Sunday shoes?

Yes! It's official: Chase Crawford will be playing the lead role in the remake of Footloose! Clearly, the only thing to do now is to listen to the Footloose soundtrack over and over again while you BBQ all weekend with family and friends. (Because, really, nothing's more patriotic than Kevin Bacon....)

And the other thing left to do is ponder who will be playing opposite the lovely Chase. The Daily News reports Amanda Bynes, while Perez Hilton says that Miley Cyrus might be in the running.

My vote is for the adorable and talented Amanda Bynes. How much do we love her?! (Amanda, if you're reading this, don't you think you should be in a movie about a girl who goes to her ex-boyfriend's wedding? It's got non-stop comedy written all over it! Call me....)

Who else do you think should be cast in the Footloose remake?

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

It comes really early this year, but it's finally here: Happy Memorial Day weekend!

For me, Memorial Day weekend is always the official start of summer. Time to fire up the BBQ, hit the beach, and try to find time off to relax. Maybe even win some free books?

So, everyone kick back and enjoy the three day weekend! I'll be back next week with my thoughts and ramblings over the Lost season finale (yes, it took me this long to put them into words....).

And just so that you start your long weekend with a smile, here's some AMAZING NEWS, and also, a preview of NBC's new show, Community. Love Joel McHale!

Author interview and book giveaway: Ellen Meister

I'm really excited today, because we have the fabulous Ellen Meister here to chat. Like me, Ellen's a blogger, a member of the Girlfriends Cyber Circuit, and is the author of two novels. You may recognize her name, since we spoke together at an Author's Tea not too long ago. If you had to miss that, don't fret: we've got a few more events planned together for the summer!

Ellen's going to be giving away a signed copy of her latest novel, THE SMART ONE.

I loved this book! (And so did my mom, which is saying a lot!) I picked it up and literally couldn't put it down! A totally wonderful read from start to finish. But, I'll leave it to Ellen to tell you all about it.


So, without further ado, I give you the wonderful Ellen Meister!


Tell us about your most recent novel in 25 words or less.

Here goes: THE SMART ONE is about three adult sisters who find a body stuffed inside an industrial drum and begin a bold, heartbreaking and sometimes hilarious journey that will either bring them together ... or tear them apart for good.

That's 39 words, Brenda. Feel free to deduct points. :)


What are you working on right now?

I have a book in production I'm very excited about. We don't have an official title yet, but here's the summary as it appeared in the trades:

Pitched as "Jodi Picoult meets THE TIME TRAVELER'S WIFE," the new novel tells the story of a suburban mom expecting her second child who discovers that she might be able to slip through a portal to the life she would have had if she never got married. When a routine sonogram reveals unexpected problems, her grief lures her to escape to the life that might have been-in which she discovers that she's stayed with her neurotic ex-boyfriend, and that her mother, who committed suicide several years before, is very much alive.


What are you reading right now?

I'm reading and loving SUMMER ISLAND by Kristin Hannah. It came out in 2001, which shows you how behind I am in my reading!


How do you fight writer's block?

To tell you the truth, I don't really believe in writer's block. Or maybe I just don't indulge in the idea. Point is, we can't sit in a chair and expect a bolt of lightning to deliver ideas. Like anything worth doing, it's hard work. So when I'm stuck on an idea, I make notes. I just open a blank document and start asking myself questions about what could possibly happen next in the story. I explore every answer that occurs to me and what repercussions it might have for the characters and the story overall. Eventually, the answers begin to emerge.


What is your favorite part of writing? Least favorite?

My favorite part of writing is when I hit that zone where I know what's going to happen in the scene and my characters just take over. That's not to say it flows before me like a scene from a movie--I struggle with language and pacing no matter what I'm working on--but surely there are times when it's so vivid I can hardly type fast enough to get it all out.

My least favorite part is when my editor or agent suggests a change that requires unraveling the whole book. It can be overwhelming.


How do you usually begin your stories-with a character or with a plot?

I have to say character, though usually it's more like the relationship between two characters that first strikes me. For instance, in THE SMART ONE, I got the bug to explore the relationship between three sisters and how their childhood labels impact their adult lives. From there I had to build a plot that would drive their relationship and individual arcs.

Thanks so much for the interview, Brenda! I had a blast answering these questions.

Thank YOU, Ellen, for stopping by! And now, on to the fun part: the free book! You know how it works-- just leave a comment below and you're entered to win a copy of THE SMART ONE! Want extra entries? That can be arranged.... Blog about it for another entry. Become of follower of this blog for another entry, too. Or you can leave a comment on another one of my blog posts for yet another entry!

The winner will be announced on June 3rd.

Legal eagle

I'm often asked in author interviews and emails from readers about whether or not I miss practicing law. Sadly, the answer is always a big resounding: Hell, NO!

(And then I always wonder if the person asking me the question is in law school, making me feel needlessly guilty that I've dashed some young girl's dream or something....)

The other thing that I'm asked about a lot is what type of law I practiced. The answer is that I did intellectual property law, but saying that just opens up a whole lot more questions, such as-- what on earth is intellectual property law? Well, NY Mag just reported a new case which is exactly the sort of thing I did when I was practicing law: Gucci is suing Guess for trademark infringement, over Guess's use of the "G."

So, there you have it. Except I never represented any clients as glamorous as Gucci. Or even Guess, for that matter. The closest to fashion I actually ever got was a case having to do with Levi's jeans.

And I didn't even get free jeans. Is it any wonder that I left the practice of law?

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Big congrats go out to Mitzy and Donnas-- these lucky ladies have won signed copies of Jessica Brody's THE FIDELITY FILES!

Not a winner this time around? That's okay! Next week, we'll be giving away a copy of Ellen Meister's THE SMART ONE. So, don't forget to check back here for a chance to win more books!

Viva la France!

In the wake of my discovery about my international superstardom, I've got more exciting news to report! SCOT ON THE ROCKS is now available in French!

I've got this totally new fabulous French cover, and it looks like they've taken SCOT's subtitle to use as its title. (But my French is really rusty, so please feel free to correct me!)

But can we discuss how cute this cover is?! Now, don't get me wrong, I absolutely LOVE my American covers. Red Dress Ink's art department truly outdid themselves with both of my book covers, but there's just something about this French cover, isn't there? It's really sassy and sexy, and I just love everything about this version of Brooke. (It's supposed to be Brooke, right?!) From the adorable ponytail to her flirty dress, she just looks too cute for words. And that necklace! Where can I get that necklace?

My sister in law firmly believes that this cover is so European that it wouldn't have done well here in the States, but I don't know.

In my writing classes, I always encourage students to think about the "red dress" theory. (The theory is this: Is the book you are writing/Are the scenes you are writing the “red dress?” Everyone at a party wears a black dress. The woman in the red dress is the one who stands out. Lots of ideas are black dresses—good, dependable, nice—but only a few are the red dress: total knockouts.)

Well, this cover LITERALLY HAS A RED DRESS RIGHT ON ITS COVER!!! So, that's gotta be good, right?!

So, what do you think? Are the international covers better? Too sexy? Are you already online looking for that necklace??

Glee!!!

Well, in the wake of devastating disappointment, I now have my new television obsession all lined up for next year. One word: GLEE! It's brought to you by Ryan Murphy, the guy behind Nip/Tuck, but this looks a little more like his previous effort, Popular.

The way Fox is promoting this new musical comedy is nothing short of genius. First, they've got trailers running throughout their prime time schedule. Next, they've put an extended trailer, which you can see below, on the web. (And I promise you, if you watch it, you will be hooked. Immediately.) And then, finally, they're doing a sneak peek of the first episode of the show on May 19th at 9pm.

But that's only the start of it. Fox isn't actually airing the show until the fall, which means that all of this viral marketing will do its job over the spring and summer. By the time fall hits, the buzz will be exploding for the show. (Well, that's the plan, at least....)

Kind of brilliant, right? It's like the book giveaways I love to do. The best way for an author to get a fan for life is to have that reader actually read one of their books. And Fox obviously has so much faith in Glee that they're willing to bet that once you check out one episode, you'll be hungry for more.

So, check out this extended trailer. But, I'm warning you, you may end up just as hooked as me!




So, what do you all think? Brilliant marketing plan? Or do you think people will be burnt out before the show even starts?

Over before it even started!

Let's all take a moment of silence here. The proposed Gossip Girl spin-off is now officially OVER. That's right, it's over before it even began! Before they even aired the flashback episode featuring Brittany Snow as the young Lily (this Monday! Woo hoo!!!!), the show is dead in the water. Even Perez Hilton is reporting it, and as you all know, I take anything Perez says as gospel.

Let's all bow our heads for a moment....

Free books! Get your free books here!!! Book giveaway roundup....

I'm taking a page from Jessica Brody's handbook and naming today Free Book Thursday!!!

First things first, as we speak, I'm giving away not one, but TWO signed copies of the fabulous Jessica Brody's debut novel, THE FIDELITY FILES. All you have to do to enter is to click here, leave a comment, and voila! You're entered. The contest is open until May 15th.


Next, the wonderful Mindy Klasky is giving away a signed copy of MY second novel, JACK WITH A TWIST! So, how can you resist?! Hop on over to her blog and leave a comment. The contest is open until May 8th (that's tomorrow!), so hurry!


Holy free books, Batman! Aren't Thursdays fun?!

I'm big in Malaysia!

So, yes, I knew it was bound to happen one of these days, and now, it has: I'm finally an international superstar.

Yes, from now on, I will start carrying a tiny dog in my pocketbook and travel around with an entourage at all times. I shall only drink Cristal and I will bathe in La Mer cream, just like J. Lo. I will go to the supermarket in diamonds-- wait, no, that's not right-- I'll hire people to go to the supermarket for me, and I'll create a list of ridiculous demands, like bowls of green M&Ms only. Hell, I'll get a bowl of M&Ms with my face on them! I will no longer be known as Brenda Janowitz. No, from here on out I will be B. Jano. (Again, um, just like J. Lo. Gosh, I really need to get some other international superstar role models....)

And all this is because I am finally an international superstar. Well, okay, maybe not an international superstar, but an internationally published author, to be sure!

JACK WITH A TWIST is being translated into Malay! Here's a pic of the beautiful new cover and my fabulous new name!


So, forget those people who ask whether or not it plays in Peoria-- my stuff plays in Kuala Lumpur, people! Now I clearly must start dressing like Catherine Zeta Jones when she was in that heist movie with Sean Connery (they were in Kuala Lumpur, right?)

Next time you're in Malaysia, pick up a copy of JACK! Or, MAHKAMAH CINTA, as it's known over there. And tell them that you're a part of B. Jano's entourage. Or, um, B. Janot, as the case may be. Okay, they probably won't know who I am, so just tell them that I'm the girl with the silly little dog in her handbag. No, the other one. No, not that one, the other one.

You know what, if you get to Malaysia, just tell J. Lo that I said hi.

They're giving it away like candy....

.... over on Mindy Klasky's blog!

The lovely Mindy Klasky is hosting me today for an interview and book giveaway. We'll be giving away a copy of JACK WITH A TWIST, so head on over and enter to win!

Author interview and book giveaway: Jessica Brody

I'm so, so thrilled today, because the fabulous Jessica Brody has come by to chat! You may know Jessica from her bestselling debut novel, THE FIDELITY FILES, or you may know her as the brain child of the wonderful website FREE BOOK FRIDAY, where she (yes, you guessed it!) gives away free books every Friday. Either way, you know that we are going to have a blast today.

Since Jessica loves to give away books just as much as I do, she's giving away not one, but TWO COPIES of THE FIDELITY FILES! Details on how to enter are at the bottom of this post.


So, without further ado, I give you Jessica:

Tell us about your most recent novel in 25 words or less.

The Fidelity Files is the story of a woman who works undercover as a “fidelity inspector,” hired by suspicious wives and girlfriends to test the faithfulness of the men in their lives.

Sorry, that was 32 words. But I swear it was 50 when I started.

How do you fight writer’s block?

I never use the term “writer’s block”…well, except right there. I’m a firm believer in the law of attraction. What you resist persists. What you focus on only gets bigger. If I went around saying, “Crap, I have writer’s block,” then yes, I would have writer’s block. If I refuse to even acknowledge the concept, then it doesn’t exist. And guess what? I’ve never had it. Of course, I get stuck from time to time as any writer does. To deal with it, I usually just mediate and tell myself, “the solution already exists; I just have to remember what it is.” By the time I wake up the next morning, the problem is always solved.

If your book were to become a movie, who would you cast?

Well, we’re really hoping for a TV show! The Fidelity Files was actually just optioned by the executive producer of the movie, CRASH and she’s working on developing it as a TV show. Fingers crossed! There are some amazing actors that she has in mind (I can’t reveal them just yet!) but my dream casting would probably be someone like Megan Fox (on the sexier side) or Rachel McAdams (on the sweeter side). And I’ve always pictured Patrick Dempsey playing Jamie, the love interest. Damn, he’s hot!

What are you working on right now?

The short answer: Lots! The (slightly) longer answer: I just finished the first book in a new YA series that I’m really excited about! It’s the fourth book I’ve ever written (well, technically the fifth if you count that one I refuse to talk about stashed away in my proverbial desk drawer). And now I’m starting on book 5—another YA. It’s the second book in a two book deal I signed with FSG. After that…who knows! I have tons of ideas!

What is your favorite part of writing? Least favorite?

My boyfriend could answer this question for me. In a heartbeat. Actually, let me ask him. Hold on…

Yep, just as I suspected. “Favorite part: Act 1. Least favorite part: Act 2. “

Very good, honey!

For those of you who haven’t read as many screenwriting books as I have, Act 1 is the first quarter of the book. The set-up. When everything is fresh. The character is new and fun and novel. You get to lay the groundwork for the story, build suspense, layer in complex plot points that will be resolved later. And then comes the dreaded Act 2. The heart of the story. The “promise of the premise.” Also known as “my nemesis.” The character is now totally grating my nerves, everything I set up in Act 1 absolutely sucks, I have no idea why I’m even a writer to begin with, I have the vocabulary of a five year old, all the “complex plot points” I thought I was setting up now actually have to be dealt with (yikes!) and I become nearly impossible to live with (my boyfriend will second that.) And yet, somehow, incredibly, magically (as if little elves snuck in my house in the middle of the night and fixed everything that was wrong with my story), I finally arrive at act 3, the conclusion and then I’m like, “That wasn’t so bad. I don’t know why I was so freaked out!”


And then I start all over again with the next book!

Big thanks to Jessica for stopping by today! Want to win a free signed copy of Jessica's book before it hits the screen? Just leave a comment below and you're entered! Want extra entries? That can be arranged.... Blog about it for another entry. Become of follower of this blog for another entry, too. Or you can leave a comment on another one of my blog posts for yet another entry!

The winner will be announced on May 15th.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Big congrats go out to LatinMissy-- she's won a signed copy of Candy Tan and Sarah Wendell's BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS! LatinMissy, shoot me an email at brenda@brendajanowitz.com and I'll have the lovely ladies get your prize to you asap!

Not a winner this time around? That's okay! Tomorrow, we'll be giving away not one, but TWO copies of Jessica Brody's THE FIDELITY FILES. So, don't forget to check back here for a chance to win more books!

My worlds have officially collided

Those of you who read my blog know that I'm completely obsessed with Gossip Girl. And, I've also been following the casting of the new movie remake of Footloose. I was thrilled when I found out that the super-hot Chase Crawford was screen testing for the lead role in Footloose, but now, it turns out that he may not be available to star in Footloose because of his commitments to the Gossip Girl shooting schedule.

Worlds colliding!

The universe is so unfair-- I don't know who to root for here. Do I hope that Chase gets the chance to play Ren (try saying that three times fast...). Or, do I stay true to my first love, Gossip Girl? Life can be so complex.

So, who are you rooting for here: Gossip Girl or the Footloose remake?

The Jets and the Jews

There's been a lot of controversy about the Jets home game schedule this year, since the first two games of the season were scheduled for two of the holiest dates on the Jewish calendar. Basically, it means that any Jewish fans who are even the slightest bit religious won't be able to attend the first two home games of the season.

The Jets complained to the commission about the scheduling, and one game was changed. But it turns out that the players are just as outraged about this situation as the fans. Jimmy Kimmel's got the video:

Like, oh my god! Okay?

So, the fabulous Perez Hilton is posting about the leaked promo poster for the highly anticipated (that's not just me, right?) Gossip Girl spin off. For those of you living in a cave, the spin off focuses on Serena VanDerWoodsen's mother, Lily. (And for those of you living in a cave, why aren't you reading my blog?! I told you all about the spin off months ago.... I know, I know, a cave, but still!)


Perez wonders whether or not this poster is just too stereotypically 80s, and I sort of have to agree. That pic, coupled with the fact that they're calling the ep Valley Girls, just leaves me a bit cold. It just seems to lack the edge that Gossip Girl is really known for, doesn't it? I mean, where's the shot of Lily in a compromising position with some random hottie? How do the producers of this show expect it to get attacked by the Parents Television Council? I mean, really, people, we've gotta set some goals here!

And the title of the episode just makes me think of Nicholas Cage. So, yes, I'm dating myself here, but really: Valley Girl?!


Your thoughts?

The mother of all guest blogs and book giveaways: the ladies of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books are here!

Well, yesterday I promised you a real treat, and oh man, how I am delivering today! We're lucky enough to have a guest blog from the lovely ladies over at Smart Bitches, Trashy Books (oh, and if you're looking for them on the web, please just click on that link. Definitely do NOT be lazy and merely type in "smart bitches" and hope that their site comes up. Let's just say you'll end up on a page that is not approved for viewing at work. Not like I did that or anything....)

First order of business, the hilarious geniuses behind Smart Bitches, Trashy Books, Candy (on the right) and Sarah (top left), are generous enough to be giving away a copy of their latest release, BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS. Details on how to enter are at the bottom of the post.


But, it gets even better! Sarah and Candy have highly confidential intel for you on the International Consortium of Heroes. But since I don't want to get myself into any messy legal messes, I'll just leave it to the girls to explain....

Thanks to an Anonymous Source, we here at Smart Bitch Central have in our hot little hands the International Consortium of Heroes' Manly Handbook to Heroic Behavior, the official ICH Guidebook for all things manly and heroic. Previously kept secret and circulated only among member heroes, this guide details what it takes to be a romance hero; some of the recommendations are nothing less than shocking. In a series of articles, Smart Bitches are publishing several different portions of the ICH Handbook; our purpose is to shine a light on the monopolistic practices of the ICH and to bring transparency to the hero-making process. None of the text has been edited; omissions are indicated by [. . .].

Introduction

Being a hero is a difficult task in the best of times, and with the increased fragmentation of the romance genre, especially the recent popularity of ménage scenarios, heroism can be more confusing than ever.

The International Consortium of Heroes' Manly Handbook to Heroic Behavior (ICH Handbook) will help provide structure and general behavior guidelines for all levels of heroes, from those embarking on their first romance to the seasoned veterans who could deflower a virgin widow or turn a reluctant heroine into a vampire/werewolf/vampire-werewolf with one arm tied behind their back.

Please note, however, that the ICH Handbook is meant to be a very general guide to behavior for primarily heterosexual hero tropes across all genres; homosexual heroes should still find much of this information applicable, but we strongly recommend consulting the ICH Manly Handbook to Man-on-Man Heroic Behavior. Archetype-specific guidance for both primarily heterosexual and homosexual heroes is available in the individual guides published by the different sections of the ICH.

The ICH also wishes to emphasize that desirable outcomes may be achieved using many different methods, and while our recommendations serve as best management practices, variations are certainly possible—even desirable, given the more idiosyncratic heroines or exotic plotlines.

[. . .]

Non-Sexual Conduct and Experiences

Parents and guardians

Because parental or guardian abuse is one of the main sources of sympathetic hero misbehavior, the majority of heroes suffer from dysfunctional family relations. Subsequent hero isolation perfects and hones this misbehavior, later to be softened, corrected and influenced by the heroine. Popular parent types include the shrewish, man-hating (or excessively man-loving) mother, psychotically abusive guardians of all stripes (ranging from parents to other relatives to legal guardians unrelated to the hero), and rigid, emotionally unavailable fathers who impose impossible standards.

If this is your first time as a hero and you are having difficulty coping with your difficult family relations, please remember that this process is necessary, akin to tempering a sword. Think of it as tempering your temper: sharp, hardened heroes are still by far more popular than the less incendiary type. Unpredictable explosions and moodiness are key to character conflicts in many romances, and while other sources are possible (see the Difficult Exes section below), this is one of the richest veins available.

Should you be interested in difficult parent interactions to enrich your backstory but are at a loss for where to find one, please consult Appendix D, which provides a list of ICH-certified agencies that safely and reliably source horrible parents and guardians. Seeking out freelancers is another option, but the quality of the interactions can be somewhat unreliable; in particular, many of the so-called freelance abusive mothers turn out to be nothing more than somewhat distant at best, instead of demonstrating the cutting, cold mistreatment necessary to instill an instinctive mistrust of other women—a staple of emotional conflict in certain hero archetypes. Caveat emptor, particularly when using sources like Craigslist. Some review websites exist, but the quality and reliability of the rankings can vary wildly. ICH-certified agencies are by far the most reliable sources.

While organizations like People for the Ethical Treatment of Archetypal Heroes (PETAH) are campaigning heavily to end these sorts of hero mistreatment, the fact remains that bad parenting in general and parental abuse in particular provide too rich a source of internal conflict and character backstory for us to rule out entirely; they are not mandatory by any means. Whether this species of mistreatment suits you is a choice you need to make prior to embarking on your personal journey of sexual, emotional and psychic discovery with the only woman who can make your numbed soul sing.

Please note that certain hero archetypes do not require family dysfunction. In this case, feel free to conduct normal, loving relationships with the parents. There are other vehicles to deliver the desired angst. Such instances include being orphaned under traumatic circumstances, catastrophic losses of other loved ones (including siblings, ex-wives and best friends, preferably under circumstances that implicate your involvement), harrowing previous experiences with love, possessing powers and characteristics that serve to alienate you from normal human society (this applies to the vast majority of heroes in paranormal romances) and taking on morally ambiguous—even morally repugnant—work to serve a greater good. These will all be covered in their own individual sections. Note also that these forces are not mutually exclusive; many heroes can and do undergo multiple species of trauma for greatest angsty effect.

[. . .]

Difficult Exes

Distrust towards love in general and romantic emotional attachments to women in particular is another rich source of conflict for romance novels; resistance to new emotional connections and overcoming your distrust with the right woman is one of the most powerful and reliable ways of generating conflict.

Furthermore, experiencing nothing but bad relationships in the past is another way of underscoring how truly special the heroine is; for the vast majority of heroes, falling in love with the heroine represents an emotional deflowering akin to a heroine's loss of virginity. We therefore recommend that you protect this tender bud of emotional vulnerability well-guarded with a series of emotionally unfulfilling—even psychically damaging, for the more adventurous of you who wish to peg the needle on the angst-meter—relationships. Just remember: physical whoring is not a problem; it is, in fact, recommended for certain hero archetypes. Emotional whoring, on the other hand, is deeply frowned upon; just as the heroine is a whore if she has enjoyed sexual relations with anybody other than you, you, as a hero, are an emotional whore if you fall in love with anybody else other than the heroine.

This distrust is most convincing if it stems from previous romantic ordeals. Therefore, prior to meeting heroines, it is preferable that you seek and entangle yourself with the following types of women:

1. Beautiful, sophisticated and frosty, with lots of (preferably kinky) sexual experience

This type is probably one of the most popular of the Difficult Exes, because not only is she with you solely for your money and/or title and/or prowess in bed, her cool distance, her penchant for schemes and manipulations, and her practiced bedroom tricks serve as a foil to the fresh, undespoiled, emotionally vulnerable heroine. Furthermore, these women are most likely to be unfaithful, and infidelity is one of the greatest and most convincing excuses for assuming other women (especially the heroine) are cheating whores. Combined with the right sort of family dysfunction, the conflict and resulting emotional fallout can be greatly enhanced when she cheats on you with your brother, your best friend or your father. For the greatest dramatic potential possible, selecting a woman with severe family dysfunctions increases the probability of incestuous infidelity, which not only creates a rich source of on-going angst, it provides a neat explanation for her sexually predatory behavior.

Another bonus: these Difficult Exes, while among the most emotionally destructive, are also the hottest in the sack. This is not, of course, an adequate substitute for the wrenching heights of ecstasy you will experience once you engage in the dance as old as time with your heroine, but while you're waiting for her to show up. . . . We're just sayin'.

2. Beautiful and completely unstable

These Difficult Exes present a different source of conflict than the cold, frosty mistress. While these women may, on occasion, manipulate or cheat on you, her greatest power lies in her ability to exhaust your psychic and emotional resources, as well as destroy all certainty in your ability to please a woman or be a good romantic partner. Most of these women show classic signs of severe bipolar or borderline personality disorder; suicide is much more likely in this particular Difficult Heroine than in any of the others. Should she choose this drastic path, crushing guilt and haunted, obsessive convictions that you could have saved her if only you had been good enough are mandatory reactions from you. If you are instead divorced, or if she is only a former mistress or ex-girlfriend, this Difficult Ex type is also the most likely to plot for your heroine's death, or yours—or even both. These murder attempts are rich opportunities for strengthening your bond with the heroine and throwing your love for the heroine into stark relief; any doubts you may have had about the Difficult Ex's emotional instability being your fault should be completely laid to rest at this point, as well as any hesitation or doubts about the depth of your love for the heroine.

3. Beautiful and physically frail

This last type is the quietest and most low-key of the Difficult Exes, but do not underestimate her impact, because this Ex is almost always a Dead Ex. Utilized most frequently in historical romances because the frailty is best exploited under circumstances with inadequate medical care, this Difficult Ex's delicate frame and timid nature most often results in lukewarm, unfulfilling sex. If she becomes pregnant, death by pregnancy or childbirth is typically mandatory, although the death of the child is optional. The only appropriate hero response for this is complete and utter crushing guilt, intensified by the mild relief you feel at the fact that you are no longer tied to somebody you were never truly in love with, anyway. When initially referring to this Difficult Ex, speak of her only in respectful—or even glowing—terms, because the heroine's false feelings of inadequacy will be one of the driving forces of conflict. As time goes on, however, this particular Ex will underscore how the milquetoast nature of the relationship was an unfulfilling shadow of the soaring emotional peaks you have experienced (and will continue to experience) with the heroine.

This Difficult Ex may occasionally prove to be unfaithful, which is perhaps one of the most emotionally devastating betrayals of all the Difficult Exes, because of her seeming virtue. Should this prove to be true, anger is key, but leavening this with a good dash of guilt for not being able to fulfill her needs provides further emotional trauma to fuel the conflict for the romance.

Big thanks to Candy and Sarah for stopping by today! I can't wait to read more from the ICH manual over on their site! Want to win a free signed copy of BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS? Just leave a comment below and you're entered! Want extra entries? That can be arranged.... Blog about it for another entry. Become of follower of this blog for another entry, too.

The winner will be announced on April 30th.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner!

Big congrats go out to MJ-- she's won a signed copy of Carleen Brice's ORANGE MINT AND HONEY!

Not a winner this time around? That's okay! Tomorrow, we'll be giving away a copy of Smart Bitches, Trashy Books's BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS. So, don't forget to check back here for a chance to win more books!

Too good to be true!!!

There's a real life Gossip Girl in the works, coming to you from the fine folks at Bravo. I would say more about it, but NY Mag really says it all.

GCC Author Interview: April Henry

Well, the GCC is back after a short hiatus, and we've got a real thriller on our hands!  Today we've got April Henry here to chat and she's talking about her latest, FACE OF BETRAYAL.  Publisher's Weekly called it “[a] sizzling political thriller. … The seamless plot offers a plethora of twists and turns.”  And who couldn't use some sizzle?!  So, without further ado, I offer you April Henry:

1. Tell us about your most recent novel in 25 words or less.
In Face of Betrayal, Katie, a 17 year old Senate page, disappears. The prime suspect: the Senator who may have been more than just a mentor.

2. When did you first begin writing?
Finished first book in 1992. Got first contract in 1997. And had first book published (fourth written) in 1999.

3. What is your favorite part of writing? Least favorite?
My favorite part is when the characters come to life and start doing stuff I didn’t tell them to do. That doesn’t happen often, but it’s a blast when it does. On the flip side, I have been known to hate editorial letters. Depending on the editor, they can be so daunting. When that happens, I just have to break them down page by page.

4. Do a quick character study on yourself: don't forget to add in the fun stuff, like favorite foods and things you love/hate!
April Henry has a cloud of black curly hair, brown eyes, and ten extra pounds she has been fighting for fifteen years. Barbecue chips or nacho flavored Doritos are her downfall. She exercises every day, cooks from scratch, and has piles of books she is going to read “soon.” She loves Scott Turow and Tom Perotta (a love they are unaware of), chocolate with nuts, and spending time with her teenage daughter and husband. She is thankful that she no longer has to report to a boss who lectures her about the need for neater handwriting.

5. Who inspired you to write?
When I was 12, I sent a short story to Roald Dahl about a 6-foot tall frog who loved peanut buter. He liked it so much he arranged for it to be published in an international children’s magazine. I still have the postcard he sent me about it.

Thanks so much for stopping by today, April!  And if thrills and chills aren't your cup of tea, don't worry your pretty little heads.  On Thursday, we're lucky enough to have the randy ladies from Smart Bitches, Trashy Books stopping by for a guest blog, so that is sure to be a real bodice-ripper.  And speaking of bodice-rippers, they'll be giving away a copy of their latest book, BEYOND HEAVING BOSOMS, so we are all in for a huge treat!